It's Party Time!
Group swingers get ready
By Brandon Tanner
Hose
off the patio or deck, set up the Hawaiian torches, clean up
the barbecue and stock up on food and drink. Winter’s
history and it’s time for a serious swing-party! Good plan
and it makes you want to get down big-time!
Some of our readers are experienced in hosting a swing-party.
However many are not and they are the target audience for this
article. Those of you who’ve 'been there, done that' might
learn something new.
Loren (my wife) and I have done articles on swinging, but
geared to intimate sessions with just two couples. The focus
of this discussion is on a much bigger event. We’ve been
there, done that, and our experience can help you plan and
enjoy a great swing-party at your house.
Yes,
folks, it takes advanced planning and a real desire to pull it
off. Good. Loren’s here and she can give us a lot of great
information. You should see the sexy outfit she’s wearing.
LOREN: “Just for you, Dear. What did I miss?”
TANNER: "Nothing, we’re into planning a great
swing-party and understanding what it takes to make it
happen."
LOREN: “Okay, let’s look at few small things not-to-do.”
TANNER: "Ordering three kegs of beer before the RSVPs
come in would be one of those."
LOREN: “We’ve been that stupid.”
TANNER: "My point exactly. We also wound up with a
week’s worth of finger-food stuffed in the fridge."
LOREN: “Regarding the matter of alcohol … be advised: if
you provide booze, beer or wine you cannot charge for it, it
must be free. The cops can get you for selling alcohol without
a license.”
TANNER: "There’s the key; you charge a reasonable fee
per couple to cover your expenses (not to include alcohol).
Guests bring their own booze. An acceptable fee is about
$30.00 per couple, $15.00 for singles. Loren will get more
into that aspect later."
LOREN: “Right, I will, but a word about singles should be
covered here. Think about it … if you allow single men to
attend your party they can and will out number your other
guests. Allowing single females seems hot, but it usually
backfires.”
TANNER: "That applies to private, home-parties. The
commercial Swing-Clubs are another story and we’re not
addressing those here. Why do single females cause a problem
at a private swing-party?"
LOREN: “It all depends on the attitude of the other females
who come to the party with male partners.”
TANNER: "Are we talking jealous here?"
LOREN: “Yes, but it’s basic really. The couple,
especially, if married, has been together for a while. They
have a rhythm, a feel for each other. Swinging with another
couple isn’t a problem. Introduce a slinky, sexy
single-female and sparks may fly.”
TANNER: "That can kill a swing-party real quick. Okay,
single men at the party, what’s your take on that?"
LOREN: “It’s a little different animal. Every time we’ve
placed an ad to have a swing-party and clearly stated NO
SINGLE MEN! We’ve been overwhelmed with single men wanting
to attend the party – can’t they read?” Loren shakes her
head.
TANNER: "That pisses you off, please be specific."
LOREN: “The mail from the dudes who can’t understand, NO
SINGLE MEN! Seems to indicate they’re above the rule,
they’re something special! They offer security service, a
fantastic addition to a threesome. They fail at both offers
and if you allow single men to your private swing-party
prepare for trouble.”
TANNER: Okay, the idea here is to have a nice swing-party in a
private home and have it be successful and pleasant for all
involved. There are guidelines that work and rules to make the
party flow smoothly. Let’s sidestep for a moment and cover a
couple of, what I would call professionally organized,
private, swing-parties."
LOREN: “You’re meaning California and Texas?”
TANNER: "You got it … lay it out for us."
LOREN: “I’ll start with California, but remember your
party doesn’t have to be on such a level.”
TANNER: "The difference is obvious."
LOREN: “This is in the area of the top-ten swingers-parties.
The setting is a sprawling ranch complex about twenty-five
miles east of San Diego, California. Weekend swing-parties
there are well known in adult circles and you have to be in
those circles to be invited. It’s couples only and the fee
is $500.00. That charge covers all accommodations, food and
drink for the entire weekend. You have access to a pool,
sauna, and complete bar and catered food service for the
weekend. All booze is provided upon request. That was the
downfall of the great swingers weekend. The local law
couldn’t get the operators on anything else but selling
booze without a license!”
TANNER: And they shut them down.
LOREN: “Fast – and the law gained nothing – fines all
around and not squat more!”
TANNER: Tell us about Texas.
LOREN: “Sorry … I just can’t stand the bullshit that
headline-seeking politicians try to dump on us every
day."
TANNER: "Texas, Loren, what can we learn from
there?"
LOREN: “We spent three years there and learned a great deal.
I mean Dallas specifically.”
TANNER: "It was great!"
LOREN: “A friend of ours has established a rock-solid
swinger’s club in his own home. It’s high-end, organized
and very successful. Get this – the charge per couple is
$35.00 and they bring their own booze. There’s a special
singles-night for men and women, usually in the middle of the
week. These folks pay half price, bring their own booze and
mix together as they will.”
TANNER: "Okay, back to reality. What about the novice
couple who would like to get a swinger’s party going?"
LOREN: “Usually a couple has done some swinging or has
attended a swing-club. You should have a good idea about
swinging before you decide to open your home to several
couples you don’t know.”
TANNER: "What’s a good way to get educated in the art
of swinging?"
LOREN: “Go to an adult club that’s well known and observe.
If you feel the urge, get involved. Another way is to get
involved with a foursome and see how it goes.”
TANNER: "I think you’d know if it’s your thing right
away."
LOREN: “Exactly. You’ve heard the phrase; ninety percent
of sex is in the mind.”
TANNER: "I thought that applied to men."
LOREN: “It does, dear. However, some couples get a hot idea
in their heads because they’ve seen pictures or videos of
group sex and or swing-parties. They fantasize about it and
build it up in their mind. Sometimes fantasy should be left at
just that.”
TANNER: "You’re scaring the readers."
LOREN: “I think I’m offering a fair warning. Give the idea
some serious thought before you jump in with both feet.”
TANNER: "Sounds kinky."
LOREN: “You’re impossible. What I’m saying is; look at
the whole picture. Do you really want six-to-ten couples
drinking, smoking, eating and having sex all over your
house?”
TANNER: "Rules, love … you have to have a set of rules
everyone understands before they come to the front door."
LOREN:
“Excellent point and it’s really necessary if you want to
have a great party.”
TANNER: "Tell us from your experience."
LOREN: “Gladly. Once you’ve decided on having a
swing-party, start promoting it at least a month in advance
and avoid Friday night.”
TANNER: "What’s wrong with Friday night?"
LOREN: “Nothing, I love it, but most couples have worked all
day, it’s already six o’clock, they need some time to wind
down. Considering an 8:00 or 9:00 PM party twenty or more
miles away can take the spark out of it.”
TANNER: "So Friday night is out?"
LOREN: “Not altogether, but our experience indicates less
response for a Friday night swing-party. In fact, the clubs
we’ve attended have cut prices and allowed singles on Friday
nights just to get more people in.”
TANNER: "Two of them have stopped operating on Friday
nights."
LOREN: “There it is, apply the facts to your own party
plans. Don’t try for a Friday night bash, make it Saturday.
And, unless you’re really established as a great swinger’s
host, don’t even consider week-night parties … they fail
every time.”
TANNER: "What about the other rules? We’re running out
of space here."
LOREN: “Decide if you’ll allow smoking, if not, make that
clear. If cameras are going to be allowed, make sure you say
so up front. Many swingers don’t want pictures or video and
they will not attend your party. If you do allow photos or
video, respect the wishes of those who decline.”
TANNER: "What else? We need to move on."
LOREN: “Don’t allow drunkenness, fighting, arguments, or
forced activity of any kind – NO IS NO! That must be
respected. Over book – right, just like the airlines.”
TANNER: "We learned that the hard way."
LOREN: “We did indeed. Post your party message in as many
personal ad places as you can. Be specific on how many couples
you want to attend. Ask for an E-mail so you can send more
information. Your response is where you lay out the rules, the
date and time of the event and any theme you might have in
mind. This is where you request an RSVP and a MUST phone call
(give your phone number in an E-mail only) NOT in the ad you
place. If fifteen couples respond and you can handle only ten
– let it go; you’ll only get about five couples to
actually call you to get directions and two of those won’t
make it. That’s how it is, people go on and on about being
swingers, but when you get to the bottom line, they’re full
of beans!”
TANNER: "We’re being up front here because we’ve
'been there, done that'. We don’t mean to put a wet blanket
over your swing-party, just understand what you hope to
undertake. As Loren suggested, themes work, we know that first
hand."
LOREN: “Holiday themes are obvious, make costumes optional
(some people won’t go to the trouble). For a non-holiday
bash come up with something kinky and plan on decorating to
reflect the theme.”
TANNER: "Sweetheart, we have to wrap."
LOREN: “I suggest a month of posting ads before the event.
Post to as many personal ad sites as you can. We know Sexy ADS
works. We hosted a fantastic swinger’s-party last October
with a Halloween theme. We followed that with a Thanksgiving
theme and both were a great success.”
TANNER: "The Halloween party was a major blast. However,
the Thanksgiving theme proved to be an absolute turkey
fest."
LOREN: “Funny. There’s a lot more to show and tell in
regard to swing-parties. Plan your party with care and
attention to details.”
TANNER: "Thanks, Loren. I'm sure our readers will be much
better prepared now that we have had this little chat."
Take care,
Brandon Tanner
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